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How to cope with anxiety from not being able to get pregnant

Updated: Oct 30, 2019


For some, trying to get pregnant is a challenging journey. It’s easy to feel disappointed, frustrated, and anxious when you’re still not conceiving, regardless of how hard you try. In this blog post, we’ll share a few techniques that can help you cope with anxiety, and cultivate a more forgiving attitude that’s kinder to yourself.

#1: Know that you’re not alone

If it feels like everyone around you is having an easy time getting pregnant, and you’re the only one struggling, know that this isn’t the case. In Singapore, for instance, the Straits Times has reported that out of newlyweds trying for babies, a sizeable 40% are facing some sort of difficulty.

#2: Surround yourself with people who love and support you

Women trying to conceive will be familiar with the two-week wait – we’re talking about the two weeks between ovulation and your next period, which is the window of time in which you might get pregnant.

A word to the wise? Don’t stay at home during these two weeks, and obsessively try and spot signs that you’re pregnant (or not). This will only serve to exacerbate your stress and anxiety. To make it easier to cope with anxiety, make plans to go out with your close friends and family, and surround yourself with people who love and support you. 

#3: Have an honest discussion with your partner

It’s worth sitting down with your partner to have an honest, no-holds-barred conversation about how far you’re willing to go to have a baby. Here are some questions that you might want to consider:

  1. Time period: How long will you keep trying for a baby? When will you stop?

  2. Cost: How much are you willing to spend on IVF or other assisted reproductive technologies?

  3. Other options: If you’ve exhausted all your resources/time, and you still can’t conceive, do you want to consider adopting a baby? Or do you prefer to remain childless?

Once you iron the details out, and come up with a concrete gameplan, you’ll feel a lot better about the situation. For instance, if you know that you can always fall back on adopting (even though it’s not your ideal choice), this might help you cope with anxiety.

#4: Decline events if necessary

If you know that attending a friend’s baby shower will send you spiraling, then it’s perfectly fine to put your mental health first, and decline to attend. Once you’re in a better headspace, you can always reach out to your friend(s) again.

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